things i'll miss (genuinely)

My 12 year old brother loves Simon & Garfunkle

and my parents are getting a dog 2 weeks before I move out,

even though my mom's semi-allergic.

I like to think they're trying to fill a void.

I'll miss making handprints on the windshield

and painting behind the trees somewhere close to my car keys.

And I don't know if I'm taking this sheepskin blanket to college,

but I'm going to miss it anyway

because it'll never feel quite the same as it does on this bed.

I'm going to miss the white car at the foot of the front yard,

the way the flowers don't grow 'til the end of summer,

being able to afford Kneaders.

I guess I'll miss the volleyball dates

and the mixed tapes that I found tucked away in an Eminem case in his car

and it was titled 'Rainy Day CD' which is ironic because of June 17.

It's still my favorite.

She told me to "keep looking" across a bookstore in Park City,

and I don't know when I'll next have friends who are that honest.

The other girls told me I was climbing a one-sided mountain,

and I'm going to miss the curve of the canyon road at 11:50pm

because I saw every branch of that mountain more often than I deserved.

I'm writing this because I'll miss Matisse agreeing to everything

and Maddi navigating the damage

and Calyn reminding me to feel good about myself

and Bradi's weird theories that end up being right

and Sabrina's logic

and Bonnie's muffled laugh

and Abby's loud one

and you and you and yours and her eyes and his eyes.

I'm writing this because country music reminds me of Trailblazers

and empty beaches with campfires that talk about birthdays.

I'm writing this because there's going to be 114 miles between myself and these memories

and I still love the way her shoulders hang and his eyes change color

and 114 miles doesn't know how to yank that out of me yet.

But I promised you a Thanksgiving dinner

with clear eyes and happy habits.

So I'll see you in November.