(a list of high school)
1. try to drink cinnamon (twice)
2. wear Uggs
3. joke about drugs but never do them.
4. kiss a boy for $20 in front of the student body
5. total a Jeep.
6. be in his Jeep when he totals his.
7. cut the electric fence around the reservoir
8. swim in the reservoir
9. leave your phone in your pocket while you swim
10. streak from the main road all the way to the lake.
11. skinny dip, then run back to the road for your clothes.
12. get thrown against a wall on your 16th birthday
13. spend those concussed birthday hours reorganizing uneaten birthday food.
14. kiss him.
15. and him.
16. then accidentally tell more than 5 people.
17. make crepes.
18. skip 4th period once a week.
19. paint alone
20. read the book she told you not to read.
21. give Twitchell dirty looks because of his Hitler aura.
22. and if they tell you to apologize for that, don't
23. listen to the end of Justin Timberlake songs, they're usually better than the beginning.
24. wear your retainer, like, twice a week.
25. never cut your hair
26. start listening to Drake
27. but keep getting annoyed with rap
28. don't forget deodorant
29. but use that as an excuse to leave school if you do forget
30. remember Kneaders breakfast closes at 11
31. assemblies aren't worth it
32. write in Sharpie
33. keep nail polish in your car
34. don't wear sandals until May, especially if you have sickness in your feet.
35. never buy Kanye's full album from 2004 or you'll die.
36. don't let a wet trampoline stop you.
37. put a picture of Jesus in your room
38. if your dad hits you, come stay with me.
39. dry out your roses & remember how you got them
40. buy a space heater
41. don't underestimate Bob Ross
42. buy more socks
43. listen to the The Weeknd
44. start watching Vampire Diaries
45. get your dang wisdom teeth out, please.
46. Even Atteral is too much for the kids who actually need it.
47. don't borrow books if you won't return them
48. the school library has like 9 shelves.
49. buy a robe
50. seriously, buy a robe.
If you want to do high school right,
stop trying to fix things that want to stay broken.
just fix yourself and go.
#4
ReplyDelete"I was young!"
This was so good....I never know what to comment... this was amazing... great job.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud more than once. Twitchell and Kneaders and assemblies and Vampire Diaries and retainers and everything. This post brought me immense joy.
ReplyDeleteCheck, check, checkmate. I hope the next stage of our lives is at least this fun.
ReplyDelete.... If not better
DeleteYES to all of the above. best instructions yet!
ReplyDeleteDef read this more than once.You probably understand highschool better than the rest of us.
ReplyDeletehaha a lot of these made me laugh. You really are a great writer.
ReplyDeleteOne of my faves.
ReplyDelete